That Fanfic Award Thing
by jebbypal
Summary: The crew meet three women who insist on fanfic awards in the Firefly Universe


That Fanfic Award Thing...  
  
By Cassandra E, Neroli and Jebbypal  
  
Authors' Note: Hailing all Browncoats—readers and writers!  
  
For link to award site, visit the author's profile pages  
  
This Parody is presented to you on behalf of the committee of the First Annual Strawberries: The BlueSun Room's Fanfiction Awards. No writers were  
harmed in the writing of this piece, well, the rolling on the floor  
giggling did hurt a bit. For more information, please visit www.Fireflyfans.net , and check out the thread—First Annual Shiny's: The  
BlueSun Room's Fanfiction Awards. Or at ezboard.com under  
FireflyFanfictionAwards.  
Let's Keep Flyin', Folks!  
  
Disclaimer: The creators of the Strawberry's offer no compensation to fanfic writers nor do they acknowledge ownership of the Firefly universe. Firefly and all it's glory belong to one man, Joss Whedon, and all entities that enabled him to share his creation with the world. We merely seek to make it easy for converts to access quality fiction based in his universe as well all eagerly await the Big Damn Movie and fantasize about a return of the best show in the 'verse to network TV!  
  
Mess Hall, Serenity  
  
"So this Fanfic Awardy thing, what's it got to do with me?" Captain Mal Reynolds asked suspiciously of the three women in front of him. "And what the diyu is fanfic any how?" The rest of the Serenity crew observed the situation with curiosity. The first mate, Zoe, shared Mal's expression, only hers was more neutral. Wash had his toy dinosaur on the table, patting its head gently. Jayne was busy winking at the first woman, Neroli. The woman blushed and tittered while the youngest one, Cassie E, snickered quietly at her friend's reaction. Simon Tam looked on in disgust at the merc's antics as did the frowning Book. Cassie's smile became sheepish when Mal turned a glare in her direction. "What's so funny?"  
  
At the far side of the table, Kaylee and Inara gave comforting smiles at the women as they cringed under Mal's annoyed scrutiny.  
  
"Nothing, umm, so you want to know what fanfic is. Well, it's quite..." Cassie E began only to be cut off by River, who had been glaring at Neroli as Jayne flirted with her.  
  
"Fanfic: storytelling, stories based in any kind of fandom. They're all over the cortex." River explained, motioning towards them, "These women have in mind to organize a type of ceremony to honor these types of stories based on us - a Fanfiction Award Contest. A Firefly Fanfic Award Contest."  
  
Mal frown deepened, blue eyes glinting, "What!? Us? You don't work for the Alliance do you? Cause some of us here fought for the..."  
  
Neroli, Jebbypal and Cassandrae E share amused looks, speaking in unison, "Independents."  
  
"We know. We ourselves like to be considered Browncoats anyway." Jebbypal spoke, "And yes, it was my idea. See the sites where the stories are posted are growing exponentially by day, and well, the new fics probably end up in the general category. So I know people wonder about recommendations, and I thought it would be pretty shiny if we do like other fandoms do -- have an award contest in order to give new converts an easy place to get a quality firefly fix. I then proceeded to enlist Neroli and Cassie E for aid. Haken, the site owner of fireflyfans.net, has agreed to present the winners as a feature on Fireflyfans.net."  
  
"Cassie E? Now where have heard that...wait a ruttin' minute, are you the one that wrote that thing—about Inara having a sister?" Mal asked eyes narrowed. "That witchy woman, Anaya Serra?"  
  
"Umm, maybe? Kinda yes. But I also wrote the one about Inara not being a Companion." Cassie explained nervously.  
  
"Really?" the Captain asked with a mixture of disbelief and interest.  
  
"Mal." Inara warned, knowing where his mind was leading him. "Don't."  
  
Mal gave the Companion an affronted look. "Did I say anything? So go on."  
  
"Neroli writes a lot of the River and Jayne stuff. Quite good actually," Cassie offered.  
  
"Huh?" The merc paused his flirting at the mention of his name. Neroli's face wilted at the loss of attention. River smiled gleefully.  
  
"What!? That's, that's...it's mad!" Simon declared. "It's against nature."  
  
"Simon!" River whined. "You're such a boob."  
  
Cassie grew more comfortable as the glare faded from the captain's face, even though Zoe still maintained a cool facade. "Jebbypal wrote this great Book piece, where his secrets..."  
  
"Secrets?" Mal pondered, throwing a look at the preacher's direction. Book offered the man a shrug before turning to glare in Jebbypal's direction while silently mouthing the words 'special Hell'.  
  
Jebbypal shuffled her feet nervously, while trying to maintain a calm front. "I'm also writing a Saffron one," she offered in an attempt to change the subject. At the resulting glares from the crew members, she added quickly, "And 'nother one about saving the other children left at the Academy. Lot's of thrillin' heroics coming soon to a cortex near you."  
  
With the crew appeased, the woman continued to argue their case, "See we need your help in spreading the word about it, to the writers and the fans and such. So tell everyone you know: the Strawberries: The BlueSun Room's Fanfiction Awards."  
  
"Shiny, the Strawberries!" Kaylee beamed, clasping her hand together, "I love the title!"  
  
"Well, it was inspired by your how much you enjoy your strawberries," Cassie explained as Kaylee's face lit up with glee.  
  
"Wait a minute," Mal protested, "The rest of us like strawberries too."  
  
"Yeah, they just never stick around long enough for us to appreciate them," Wash stage-whispered.  
  
"But you don't eat them as well as Kaylee."River stated matter of factly. She remained oblivious to the Captain's furious glare since most of her attention was focused on Jayne as he looked at her with a curious expression on his handsome face.  
  
Neroli sighed and turned to Simon, deciding she'd best divert the young doctor before things got ugly.  
  
"There are many fanfics with Simon and Kaylee as well, you know." Neroli stated. "You guys even manage quality alone time in some."  
  
"But you best watch out, there are others putting Kaylee with Jayne," Jebbypal informed with a warning tone in her voice.  
  
"Really?" Jayne puffed his chest out. "Me an' Kaylee an' me an' River, ain't that something." He smirked at Simon. "Any with me an' 'Nara an' Zoe?"  
  
"NO!" All three of the women replied firmly. Jayne's face fell in disappointment while the rest of the men appeared to be visibly relieved.  
  
"Merciful Buddha," Inara said softly.  
  
"Yes." Wash added, suppressing a shudder of horror. "At least those writers show some sense."  
  
"At least he didn't ask if they had put him with you, Husband," Zoe said dryly. Her eyes narrowed as the three women exchanged uncomfortable looks. "They haven't put Wash with Jayne, have they?"  
  
"No," Neroli replied, choosing her words carefully as she clearly avoided meeting the gazes of any of the male crew. "Not that I have ever seen, at any rate." She glanced at her friends, relieved at their emphatic nods of agreement.  
  
"So then," Zoe asked dangerously, "Who did they put my husband with?"  
  
"Well...there is one story with him and Simon." Neroli answered softly, hoping the Warrior woman would not hear her.  
  
"Me?" Simon squeaked in shock as his sister giggled behind him.  
  
"There are those that write what we call 'slash' as well." Jebbypal inserted, giving Neroli a dirty look for not avoiding the question.  
  
"Don't worry," River told Zoe comfortingly. "Most of the slash writers put Simon with Jayne or the Captain."  
  
"All right then." Mal said awkwardly as Simon made a gurgling sound. "Perhaps we best move on. You said something 'bout thrillin' heroics?" He directed the conversation back to Jebbypal.  
  
"Now wait a minute," Jayne interrupted, his chest puffing up again, "Ya mean I been with most'a the crew?"  
  
"Yes," the three women said with a collective sigh. Cassie added, with a gleam in her eye, "You are the ship slut." Jayne took a minute to realize she was insulting him, even as the others snickered over the comment.  
  
Jebbypal fixed her with a glare, obviously annoyed at her two friends' inability to keep the situation under control.  
  
"As I was saying earlier, we need your help in order to spread the word," she restated. "Also, we've come to the realization that the task we face is huge,"  
  
"Monstrous," Cassie interrupted.  
  
"Everest proportions, but with more fun and oxygen," Neroli added.  
  
Jebbypal poked both of her friends to quiet them. "So we're looking for a few good recruits."  
  
Mal held up his hands to tell the woman to stop. "Now look here, this is an interesting idea and all, but my crew and I already got a job that keeps us plenty busy."  
  
"We do? How come no one told me?" Wash asked snarkily. Zoe hit the back of his head to prevent another smart aleck comment from peeving the Captain off.  
  
"No, no, you misunderstand," Jebbypal soothed.  
  
Neroli continued the explanation for the flustered young woman. "See, since we are all writers, we realize that our fellow fans may doubt our impartiality. So we'd like for some non-writers who enjoy quality fanfic to contact the three of us and volunteer to join us as fellow judges."  
  
"The job is thankless, but in the end when the entire fandom, errr at least those that read fanfic, votes on the finalists that the judges have selected, these selfless individuals will have the knowledge that they have helped to choose each finalist in each category from the field of quality epics from the last THREE years," Cassie added.  
  
"Yeah, what they said," Jebbypal stated with a nod of thanks to her fellow award creators.  
  
"Where are you all planning to perform this task of no small size?" Zoe asked with suspicion.  
  
Mal's eyes narrowed. "We ain't got the time nor the space for you and a bunch of other addled brained women to be discussing stories!"  
  
"Addled brained? You're calling us..." Cassie E said indignation. "You fell for Saf...oww. What was that for?" Cassie E glared at the pinching fingers of Neroli and Jebbypal.  
  
Jebbypal shook her head, while ignoring the last remark. "Oh, don't worry, Neroli already found us a shiny home and a friend to decorate for us. It's located on the EZboards – our ezboard addy is bfireflyfanficawards. Or you can go to my, Neroli's, or CassieE's author profiles and find the link. And for the record, we're willing to welcome menfolk into our judging ranks as well."  
  
"The site includes a list of the eligible categories and an explanation of the judging system we've created," Neroli bragged. "We've also posted the link in the Blue Sun Room on Fireflyfans.net and the Official Board."  
  
"Oh, okay then," Mal nodded.  
  
"It sounds like you all have put a lot of thought into this," Simon stated with surprise.  
  
"It beats the hell out of thinking about science all day," Jebbypal explained.  
  
Neroli giggled. "And I had no choice or my Inbox was going to flood!"  
  
"Well then, y'all have wasted enough of our time," Mal said as he shot glares at his crew who were lounging around the cargo bay. At the looks of disappointment from the three strange women, his expression softened. "No, don't cry. It's alright. We'll tell everyone we meet about these here BSA Strawberries."  
  
"Wait a minute, I got a question," Jayne interrupted. Mal and Zoe exchanged glances. "Do the winners get anything? Like money?"  
  
"No money," Jebbypal answered. "Unless y'all would like to offer a reward?" she asked the crew hopefully. Her expression fell when Mal shook his head.  
  
"Ummm, actually, there may be a few small prizes to the authors of the winners in the form of desktops and the like," Cassie E offered.  
  
"Don't ask," River stated when the Captain gave her a questioning glance. "The ones featuring you are rather disquieting."  
  
"Okay then, well like I was saying, we got work to do and it sounds like you do too," Mal said.  
  
Jebbypal, Neroli, and Cassie E gave smiles of gratitude to their favorite Captain in the whole 'verse. "We'll be in touch then. Tell everyone that a notice will be placed in the BlueSunRoom and on our EZboard site once we start accepting nominations. Right now we're just looking for judges," Jebbypal told the crew.  
  
As they turned to leave, Cassie E hung back. "Oh and Captain. If you run into Jing Mae or Saffron again, don't trust them."  
  
"What was that Brat Goddess?" Jebbypal asked.  
  
"Nothing dear. We have places to go and people to tell about the Shiny's," Neroli stated as she grabbed her friends' arms.  
  
The three creators of the Shiny's stepped out of Serenity and into the unknown. Afterwards, Jayne smirked lewdly, "Ha, the ship slut, huh?" The merc's eyes ran over River, Kaylee, even briefly pausing on Mal and Simon in consideration. Both men cringed, glaring back.  
  
Jayne settled back into his chair, "Yeah, I like it." 


End file.
